Thursday, May 21, 2015

A plan.



We met with our Nuero-oncologist yesterday.

Good news-we love her.
Better news-we have a plan.
Bad news- This is real. We have to do this and it is hard.

I had a pity-party this morning. Snuggled in the bed with my love and both of our babies, I fell apart. I don't want to do this. I don't want Jonathan to do this. I don't want this to be our story. I don't want to go to chemo-training next week. I don't want Jonathan to be fitted for a radiation mask. I don't want to drive to downtown Dallas everyday for the next 7 weeks. I don't want to do this.

As I throw my baby fit, Jesus stands next to me. He doesn't comfort me. He doesn't make it go away. Instead, he lets me throw my baby fit. He is close to the brokenhearted. He assures me He will be Here. He will not leave our side. He will go to chemo-training with us. He will be there for the radiation meeting. He will be there for all the MRI's. He even called shotgun for the drive to Dallas. (imagining Jesus riding shotgun with a trucker hat on, sipping on a big gulp from QuickTrip cracks me up)

He will be there.
He is strong. I don't have to be strong.
He will be there.
He is everything that we need in the exact moment when we need it.
He will be there.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
-Psalm 34:18

God is bigger than this and Jesus can fix-it. 

1 comment:

Jenny Marrs said...

I'm praying and aching for you. I hate that you have to go through this but I am thankful for a Jesus that promises to never leave our side and to be close to the broken hearted. I love the image of Jesus riding shotgun... Love it. He IS bigger than this. Praying and thankful for a plan to attack this thing.