He doesn't abandon.

Before I leave to take Jonathan to treatment, I drop the kids off at my moms house for my sister to watch. Emily, Laura or my Mama watch the kids when we go to treatment. It's easier. I don't want them in the car for 3-4 hours a day. After dropping them off and before I pull away, I can see them standing at the window watching me. Lucy is sad. Henry screams for me. That is hard. I don't abandon my kids. I love them. I stay at home with them so I can experience the day with them. They are only little once.

They run and hug me when I return at the end of the day.  Henry hugs me and grabs my face and says, "I thought you lost me." It breaks my heart. I tell him, "Mommy always comes back. Mommy loves you and I will never leave you."

What they don't know is that while I've been away, while I have been driving, while we have been separated, I have been planning our next adventure. I have plans that they don't even know about: Day trips, camps, conversations, birthday parties, Christmas presents, vacations, outfits, dinner, snacks, my grandma names (I'm thinking Crazy Mary), and the list goes on. I make plans for us. They may never know the plans I am making until they experience it.

And that is what God is doing for us also. I will never know His Will until we experience it. I just hold on to the truth that He does not abandon His children. He loves us. He makes plans for our future. I trust Him. His Will, His Way.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

-Jeremiah 29:11

God is bigger than this and Jesus can fix-it.