Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Just a Mom.

To all the moms who are just a mom...
"I wish you actually did something." 
Dear Child, 
One day you will understand what it means to be just a mom. One day you will understand the sacrifices I have made to be just a mom. One day you will realize all that I do without so that I can be just a mom. 

From your first breath, all I wanted to be was just a mom. And when I saw your face I knew I wanted it to fill my day.  You took all my selfish desires away with your first cry. The first time I held you I knew I had everything I would ever need. 
Your deep belly laughs sealed the deal; I wasn't going anywhere. 
During our sleepless nights and your bursts of colic, I knew no one would love you like I would. Your curiosity and messes taught me that no one could love you like I could. 
I don't want to miss the moments. Any of them. I don't want someone else to see your face when you wake up. I don't want someone else to be your after school care. I don't want someone else to have our car conversations or share our dance parties. 
I want to be your chef. I want to be your chauffeur. I want to be your maid. (I actually don't want to be your maid but I want to be the person who teaches you to clean up after yourself).  I want to visit you during your lunch hour and help in your classroom.  I want to see your smile when you walk in the door after a long day at school. I want to watch you do your homework and struggle with spelling words while I prepare dinner. I want to be your tutor. I want to remind you to take a bath and to use soap. I want to hear your highs and lows at night and hear your heart when you pray at night. I want to tuck you in and kiss you good night. 
I don't want to rush to get everything done and miss any of these moments.
I've always told your daddy that I can do without all the things of this world to stay at home with you. And I have. I've learned to coupon, to shop the sales, to shop second-hand, to cut hair, and how to budget. I'm a magician when it comes to stretching a dollar. 
I will continue to sacrifice to be just a mom.  I will continue to do without to be just a mom.  I'll continue to not do anything so I can be just a mom. 
I love you with all my heart, 
just your mom

(To the working moms, and/or single moms. You amaze me, you do it all. My sister was one of these working moms and she was on top of it all, all the time- with 4 kids! Her kids didn't lack a mom. I struggle being just a mom. So, to you working moms, I give to you a high five!)

God is bigger than this and Jesus can fix-it.  

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